The mirror is something we look into nearly every day of our life. It helps us to determine whether we look attractive and even if we feel confident.
And if you don’t have a mirror, you might even find that often as a woman you will look at your reflection even when you pass by a window. Right? Yeah, me too.
As women, we’re constantly evaluating, “Do I look attractive?” Then after sizing ourselves up, we either walk away and we feel confident that we’re good—or we don’t.
Even though the mirror or windows help us, we still find ourselves looking again to see—and confirm—our looks, and even deeper, our identity. But, the mirror does lie. Remember that phrase that is printed on the side mirror of your car?
“Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.”
It’s not just a suggestion. In fact, years ago I learned the hard way—that mirrors lie—and I ended up hurting my mom. Here’s what happened.
How can you see yourself attractive?
“Stop! Stop! STOP!” My mom cried out.
She was pinned between the bumper of our little red Chevette and the beam that was supporting our basketball hoop. My foot quickly slammed on the brakes.
I was backing up our car and as I looked in my side view mirror, I thought I easily had another foot of room between my bumper and the basketball hoop. My mom on the other hand, saw otherwise.
Even as I was staring at that little saying on the side mirror, “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear”, well, as a fifteen year old, I sort of thought that was a recommendation.
Essentially that mirror was telling me—”Hey, there! I lie.”
So if the mirror lies about that, it could be fair for us to say that the mirror lies about a lot of things—including whether we look attractive or not. The thing that will help you the most to see yourself attractive—isn’t your mirror. It’s your thoughts.
How can I look attractive and feel confident?
What you believe has a big impact on what you think, and what you think influences how you feel. How you feel, determines what you do. I talk a lot about this practice of being in control of your mind.
You see, each day you have the opportunity to act upon what you believe. The way you feel about yourself—whether you feel like you look attractive or confident—it all starts with what you believe. So how can you look attractive and feel confident?
Simple. You change what you believe about yourself.
Really? Yes, it’s that simple.
Your thoughts and what you tell yourself to think really impact how you feel. I write more about this in What You Say to Yourself Matters. But to illustrate my point, I’m going to ask you to do something.
Spilled Coffee and the Mind
I want you to try something.
Imagine you just made a cup of coffee and you’re running late. In your rush to get out the door, you knock it over.
Ever have this happen before?
So now you have coffee running all over the kitchen counter and your initial response is…
- “AGH!! This is the worst thing that could happen right now!” Without thinking, you frantically start cleaning up. Now you’re running late to your mom meet up. You feel frustrated, clumsy, and your bad morning is not how you wanted to start your day. You hop in the minivan, kids in tow and drive to Starbucks…to find a long line of cars…waiting. Time is ticking and running late has turned into even later. Ugh! Why did the morning have to start out this way?
- You yell out loud with great exclamation, “Yes! I’m glad I got that over with for the day!” You start cleaning up the mess and decide to just grab a pack of your Starbucks Via Instant to mix up when you get to your mom meet up. You hop into your car and turn on your favorite tunes. You arrive to work a few minutes late, but you jump right in to start your day.
The first response to the situation immediately shifts your thoughts into a negative down spiral. The second response—focuses on the situation in a positive tone. It doesn’t ignore that it happened. It just acknowledges it and then you move on.
Do you see the power in that?
The Power of Self Talk
The reason I shared this example, is because your self talk impacts what you believe about yourself and what you do.
Years ago, I actually had spilled my coffee just liked I asked you to imagine it. And I actually responded saying out loud and emphatically, “Yes!!!”
At the time I didn’t plan it. It just happened that way. What I later realized, is that what I had said actually reinforced how I felt. I actually didn’t feel bad about myself. My morning went fine. In the past, I would’ve been frustrated because I messed up and it would tend to result in a not–so–successful rest of the day.
Then when I intentionally took control of my thoughts with a 30 Day Biblical Self Talk Challenge, that experience came back to my mind. It reminded me of the power of my words.
Think about it this way.
What if someone was constantly pointing out that you made a mistake. Would you want to be around that person long? I wouldn’t. Why would you want to be around a person that is constantly telling you that you are a failure?
So, when you won’t tolerate someone else talking to you that way, why do you allow yourself—to talk to yourself that way?
The truth is that we all do this to ourselves.
But the power of biblical self talk lets you take back control of your mind. It transforms your mind from believing you are a failure to believing that failure is something that happens.
And real change can only happen when you make up your mind to dismantle years of negative self talk by practicing biblical self talk.
How can I look more attractive?
I’ve already said it, but, the simple way you can look more attractive is by practicing daily biblical self–talk. I know, at first this kinda sounds a little too good to be true. But trust me. You’ll be able to see some significant benefits that really do make you look attractive and feel confident.
- You see yourself as a winner, regardless of your circumstances. Once you start training your mind to think positively about yourself, you gain excitement, enjoyment and hope. Your mantra becomes, “If I win, I win. If I lose, I learn.”
- Failure doesn’t ruin you. It creates The Best You. I talk about this more in How to Know You’re a Good Mom When You Feel Like a Failure. I specifically share the story behind the success of Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx and how a healthy perspective of failure actually is what helped to make Spanx so successful.
- You always have something to wear. You become more valuable than your clothes. There will always be those pieces that you love because they make you feel like a million bucks. Ultimately you recognize that you make you look awesome. When you feel this way—you are comfortable in your own skin and others are naturally attracted to people who are confident in themselves.
- You’re never alone. As a positive person you become a relationship magnet. You enjoy life—it doesn’t weigh you down. You see the good in people and they feel it. They feel encouraged just by being around you.
- Your lifestyle becomes healthier. Positive thinking inspires positive choices. Remember what you think—becomes what you do.
To sum it up, I really like what Zig Ziglar always said,
“You’re what you are and where you are because of what’s gone in to your mind. You can change where you are, by changing what goes into your mind. You cannot become what you need to be—by remaining what you are.”
A Bruise Worth Remembering
My mom’s voice still rings in my ears—a memory of when I pinned her with the car. What’s more memorable though, is the bruise on her leg. It was the size of a small watermelon. That day, my thoughts led me to hurt my mom. I chose to believe and act based on something wrong, even though the truth was staring right at me.
Have you ever had the truth right in front of you, but you’ve chosen not to believe it?
How many times have you hurt others? How many times have you hurt yourself?
Every time I get in my car today, that little saying on the side mirror is another reminder of that day long ago. I made a mistake, but I learned that what I think is directly connected to my actions. It affects me and those around me.
How about you? Interested in replacing those negative thoughts with positive, biblically–based thoughts today? Take the same 30 day self talk challenge that I took.