• Home
  • About
  • Blog
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest

Healthy Living Mom

  • Healthy Mom
  • Faith
  • Relationships
  • Lifestyle

3 Lies You Believe About Being Mom (and how to be a healthy living mom instead)

Healthy Mom· Relationships

This post may contain affiliate links. Read our disclosure policy here.

13 Aug
22shares
  • 22
The overwhelming pressure you feel being mom may be because you believe these 3 lies. Learn what the lies are and how to be a healthy living mom instead.

Being mom all the time was a little bit of a shocker to me, despite hearing from everyone that my first few months was feed the baby, eat, sleep, repeat.

Except, I think I missed, that the sleep part was like for 2 hours at a time.

I thought I could prepare well for being mom. But now, being on the other side of it, I think you’d agree too—first time moms can never really be prepared. No matter how much they try.

My Biggest Problem As a Mom

Three months into it, I was tired and in desperate need of community. So I left my piles of laundry and dishes to go to my very first moms meet–up.

Holding my three month old son closely to my chest, I nursed my coffee like it was my lifeline. The speaker bounced up to the front of the room with a great big smile on her face. She opened her mouth and her words slapped me sideways.

Until that moment, I had no idea that my biggest problem was that I had started to believe some lies about what it means to be a mom. It came down to three very specific lies that I was believing.

3 Lies You Believe About Being Mom

I know you might not be a new mom. But to be honest, I meet moms every day, no matter what stage of motherhood they are in, who are believing these same three lies and they don’t even know it.

I’m not gonna sugar coat it. These lies are subtle but destructive.

So much that you might even think as you read more that you don’t struggle that much with any of these, but that’s how they work.

That’s how they get you.

It starts with just a little struggle then it cascades into a down–spiral in your thinking that slowly destroys your emotional well being as a mom.

So, let’s take a closer look at just what these three lies are, and I’m going to share with you what you can do to be a healthy living mom instead.

Lie #1 Being mom means you do anything and everything for everyone else.

Lie 1: Being Mom Means…

You Do Anything and Everything For Everyone Else

Mom…when can we do this? Does anyone know where this is….mom? Mom…my uniform needs to be washed, did you do that?

That’s just a glimpse into the future for a mom who has believed this lie. Being mom means you do anything and everything for everyone else—so much that you are relied upon too much!

Mom, Mom, Mom…

Now, we all will experience the mom, mom, mom where’s this, can we questions. But, what I’m trying to say here is, being mom means that you literally do everything. It’s self sacrifice for the good of everyone else.

If you believe this lie, you might think you’re loving your family by taking care of them.

But the problem is, that when you do everything and anything, you also remove the opportunity for you kids to develop responsibility.

By the time your kids are faced with bigger responsibilities they don’t know how to make good choices.

Secondly, something else gets lost in the process—you do! You start to feel like, “Who am I really? What happened to the real me? Do I matter or am I only good for what I do for my family?”

So, let me ask you, have you ever encouraged your son to do some things around the house? How about this one? When was the last time you truly felt excitement for life—and experienced a real honest enjoyment of motherhood?

Today is the day to change that by being a healthy living mom instead.

The Healthy Living Mom Gives and Takes

As a mom, you can give to your family by doing things for them and also by giving them responsibility. How do you do that with a baby and a boy who’s only four years old?

First, you can start empowering your son by giving him small responsibilities. Like helping you with the dishes or laundry—or even making his bed and putting away his own clothes. By doing this, you’re helping him to develop good habits for later in life.

Secondly, a healthy mom takes. Takes what?

A healthy mom takes care of herself first.

She’s a mom who is thriving personally, living purposefully, and loving intentionally.

Now at first glance this can totally appear to be selfish, but it’s quite the opposite. It’s self care, but I’m talking real self care—not just a pedicure—although a pedicure is exactly what we need at times.

Self Care is more than a pedicure. | Enjoy being a mom #beingamom

Real self care is being intentional to sit down and look at where you’re strength is coming from. It’s identifying what you’re filling yourself up with spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Not to mention, getting serious about taking control of your self talk.

A healthy living mom takes care of herself first, because she knows that if her cup is empty, she cannot offer anything good to anyone else.

When we feel like we have no time left in the day to do it all, I really like how Club 31 recently put it in Managing Ministry: How to Balance Pouring In and Pouring Out,

“..conforming our minds to the Spirit is exactly what we are thirsty for – life and peace. So from this place, we can begin to formulate a path to bring us back to Truth when the pouring in and pouring out feels unmanageable.”

Lie #2 Being mom means you only find yourself apart from being mom.

Lie 2: You Only Find Yourself Apart From Being Mom

Sometimes the real you is something that you end up really missing now that you’re a mom. Because let’s face it, being a mom can run you ragged and in the process you can feel like you’re losing yourself.

The second lie here is that you can only be you—apart from your family. There’s a pretty common way this plays out.

I’ve heard a lot of moms get really excited when their oldest finally heads off to Kindergarten—so they can find themselves again. Basically what that means is that they meet up with their girlfriends at Starbucks and head to the gym. They can’t wait to have the morning to themselves.

Some would describe this as finding yourself again—the time and freedom to be you. Honestly, I’m just going to say it—this isn’t finding yourself in a healthy way.

This is finding yourself for yourself only.

Don’t get me wrong, every mom needs a break, myself included. But what I’m getting at here with this example is your heart and your mindset.

Is it fun to meet up with your girlfriends? Yes, but Starbucks, the local health club, and shopping at Target don’t make you who you are—they are things you do.

This is another example of how as moms we can get caught up in creating an identity around what we do—not who we are.

The Healthy Living Mom finds herself in the mix of motherhood.

Finding yourself in motherhood can also seem like your identity is that “you’re just a mom.”

Girl, this is the farthest from the truth.

God created you to be you.

If you start to take on the identity that you’re just a mom or that you’re only you apart from your family—then you’re rejecting the fullness of who God created you to be.

You may not realize it, but you’re also telling your kids and husband the same thing. You’re just a mom. Nothing special. Just a mom—it’s boring, tiresome, overwhelming because there’s all the things you have to do.

Or you’re telling them that you only enjoy life if you’re not around your family.

What I’m actually saying is that finding yourself in motherhood is being fully you and fully mom.

I get it, trying to do this well is tricky—so how can you be fully you and be mom too? You can read more in How to Find Yourself in the Mix of Motherhood.

Lie #3 Being mom means motherhood is hard.

Lie 3: Motherhood is hard.

Even as you read lie #3, you might be raising your hand saying, “Wait! Being mom is hard! That’s not a lie?”

This mantra is something that is easy to grab hold of because it’s reassuring.You’re not alone in this mom thing and that is comforting. 

I agree that motherhood is challenging—and at times very hard, yes. But, the reality is, culture’s mantra that “motherhood is hard” has gotten out of hand.

To help me describe what I mean, let’s think about it this way.

“Mom, it’s too hard!”

It’s kind of like your toddler whining when you ask him to pick up his toys. I can just hear it now, “Mom, it’s too hard!”

The truth is, picking up and putting toys away isn’t a hard—but your son thinks it is so he doesn’t want to do it. Convincing your son to do it when he thinks it’s hard—yeah good luck with that one. I’ve been there too.

The same is true with this mantra of “motherhood is hard.” It gets applied to every aspect of motherhood and this is where it starts to become damaging.

It’s seems to be a lighthearted we-belong-because-we-all-get-it mantra. But by saying motherhood is hard—you actually are repeating to yourself and others that it is hard.

You start to believe that something is hard and those beliefs influence how you feel. And how you feel determines what you do.

It’s like trying to get your son to pick up his toys, if you believe something is hard for you—you also stop trying or don’t even try because what’s the point—it’s too hard.

You accept that this is motherhood and it’s too hard to change. Likewise when you feel like something is hard, you’re less likely to encourage other moms to persevere because you’re struggling to do so yourself.

The Healthy Living Mom lives differently than the majority.

While the majority of moms out there are set on speaking, living and believing that motherhood is hard—the healthy living mom lives out being mom, differently.

She sees every opportunity as one to learn. Failure is an event that she can learn from, it’s not who she is as a mom.

A healthy living mom’s focus is on being the mom who chooses to look at the best even when it feels like it’s hard.

She lives differently than the majority.

I talk about this more in 10 Reasons Why It’s Hard Being a Mom and What You Can Do To Change It.

"It's hard being a mom! I don’t ever get time alone or for myself!" Maybe you feel it. I have too sweet mom—but there's something you can do about it. #hardbeingamom

It’s Not About What You Do

To sum things up—if you look at the lies you believe as a mom you’ll see that all are related to the things you do.

That day I went to my first mom’s meet–up, I left my home frustrated and burnt out as a mom. I came home again to the same piles of laundry and dishes. My circumstances didn’t change, but I was a different person altogether.

After hearing the truth and exposing the lies that I was believing, I felt like I was given the mom version of the ring in Lord of the Rings. It gave me a whole new view of mom life.

A healthy living mom gives and takes, finds herself in the mix of motherhood, and lives differently than the majority.

It was a day for that forever changed the rest of my life. It started a better version of motherhood for me. Notice I said it was start. Each day I’ve been learning more and more what this looks like and it’s always growing and changing.

But not everybody saw or experienced what I did that day. And to be honest, often it feels lonely to have been given this perspective. When you see it—you get it. But I’m finding that most moms don’t, and I so desperately wish that more moms could get it.

So today I hope that you’re one who gets it. That you’re the mom who is able to see this freeing perspective of motherhood—how to be a healthy living mom.

My prayer is that you know the truth.

You are the best mom because of who you are and who you are becoming. Not because of what you do or don’t do.

Did you find that you have been believing one of these lies about being mom? Or did any one of them catch you by surprise?

22shares
  • 22

Related

Leave a Comment

About Healthy Living Mom

From Overwhelmed To Thriving

As a busy mom, I know what the feeling of overwhelm feels like. But, I’m also excited to share with you simple practical strategies that crush that overwhelm with confidence, awaken your excitement for life, and equip you for every day living.

5 Things Great Moms Get Right- FREE PDF 

« 1 of the Best Reasons Why You Need to Stop Cleaning Your House
Easy Summer Dessert Recipe for the Last Minute Planner »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Amazon Services LLC Affiliate Program

HealthyLivingMom.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

 

From Overwhelmed To Thriving

As a busy mom, I know what the feeling of overwhelm feels like. But, I’m also excited to share with you simple practical strategies that crush that overwhelm with confidence, awaken your excitement for life, and equip you for every day living.

5 Things Great Moms Get Right- FREE PDF 

For the mom who feels overwhelmed with everything | As a mom, when you feel overwhelmed with everything—all you want to do is to fix it. But, you don’t have to feel overwhelmed and defeated. You can move from overwhelmed with everything to clear and confident, by saying yes to what is best.

Stay up to date

Subscribe to get all the latest

When you're an overwhelmed mom, it's almost paralyzing. Feel like you're treading water? Here's 4 ways you can move from overwhelmed to clear and confident. #overwhelmedmom #thisismotherhood

Most Popular Posts

  • For the Mom Who Feels Overwhelmed With Everything
  • 1 Quick On-the-Go Meal Strategy
  • Overwhelmed With Life This Mom Rubbed 2 Pennies Together To Make a Dollar
  • How to Give Comfort When a Mom Feels Helpless
  • How Your Definition of Gratitude Impacts Every Day of Your Life
  • Did I Hear God Wrong? My Personal Story
  • 10 Ways To Enjoy Being a Mom

Latest on Instagram

Instagram post 2094613474126062258_176681624 Summertime calls for a Deboer’s Blueberry Sundae... Yes folks that’s a blueberry donut topped with vanilla ice cream, blueberry compote and streusel. And life wouldn’t be fun without cousins to share the moments. Yum 😋
Instagram post 2040074755679588957_176681624 We had a busy day yesterday—lots of time on the road. 😳 From celebrating our last MOPS meeting of the year to taking part in our first Tulip Time parade. Tulips, parades and celebrating the Dutch heritage of West Michigan. Check out that hair! 😊 #tuliptime2019
Instagram post 2038757810032158812_176681624 Succulents...yes please! 🙋🏼‍♀️ Can’t wait to bless some amazing volunteers tomorrow with some of these goodies! ❤️ P.s. I learned today that I really don’t like doing things last minute—but I also love adventure in spontaneity.  I do think there’s a difference. What do you think?
Instagram post 2035084656206275746_176681624 Grocery shopping. Can we chat about that a moment? It’s like the consistent place that inevitably as a mom of littles your fear sneaks up on you.  The What If Fears.. What if someone takes my kid when I’m not looking?  My son is running down the isle, what if he breaks something?  The Self Defeating Fear — “I’m so bad at”...that starts small in your mind then escalated quickly.  Meal planning, saving money, not spending money wisely. I gave my kids candy for breakfast—ack—I’m a horrible mother!  Why does this always happen at the grocery store?  Well if you’re thinking, yeah what can I do to overcome those thoughts...then hop over on the blog.  This week I’m sharing How to Overcome Fear When It Won’t Go Away. {link in profile}  Spoiler alert: we might talk about how 🕷 spiders, yes I said spiders 😬 can help us out! #fromfeartofreedomtour
Instagram post 2030956112207250241_176681624 “I look to the hills and where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth” Psalm 121  Today was a long day. I’m tired, but hopeful.  I’ve taken somewhat of a sabbatical since February—and it’s been good and hard altogether.  In the struggle God always refines me and this time He’s been helping me through of process of moving from fear to freedom—again.  This isn’t the first time I’ve battled fear—and I’m sure it’s not the last.  On Monday I’ll be sharing more about #howtoovercomefear when it won’t go away. #fromfeartofreedomtour
Instagram post 2013308931346412903_176681624 Don't let fear win.  I have moments where I really feel the heaviness and the reality of fear...but like it says in 2 Corinthians 4:8–9, I am not letting fear win. "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." (ESV)  What fear are you struggling with today?  Today is a new day and there is hope and encouragement that you are not alone. ****Don't let fear win.*** If I can overcome. You can overcome too.  And sweet mom, I'm not the only one who is overcoming.  I've learned that the best way to learn and grow in my faith often is when others share their stories—and that is just what we are doing in the From Fear to Freedom Tour.  It's 30 blog posts over the next 30 days that will give you first hand stories from others and what they are doing to overcome their fear. {link in the profile} #30daystobraveandbold #overcomingfear #fromfeartofreedomtour

Blog Posts By Category

  • Faith
  • Featured
  • Healthy Mom
    • Health
    • Self Care
  • Lifestyle
    • Goals and Planning
    • Home
    • Organization
    • Recipes
  • Relationships
    • Family Life
    • Marriage
    • Parenting

Looking for something specific?

Privacy Policy
What would really make you feel like you’re a healthy mom? You need these 10 things, but you probably didn't even know it. #healthymom

5 Things Great Moms Get Right- FREE PDF 

Common mistake moms make. #momfail
Instagram post 2094613474126062258_176681624 Summertime calls for a Deboer’s Blueberry Sundae... Yes folks that’s a blueberry donut topped with vanilla ice cream, blueberry compote and streusel. And life wouldn’t be fun without cousins to share the moments. Yum 😋
Instagram post 2040074755679588957_176681624 We had a busy day yesterday—lots of time on the road. 😳 From celebrating our last MOPS meeting of the year to taking part in our first Tulip Time parade. Tulips, parades and celebrating the Dutch heritage of West Michigan. Check out that hair! 😊 #tuliptime2019
Instagram post 2038757810032158812_176681624 Succulents...yes please! 🙋🏼‍♀️ Can’t wait to bless some amazing volunteers tomorrow with some of these goodies! ❤️ P.s. I learned today that I really don’t like doing things last minute—but I also love adventure in spontaneity.  I do think there’s a difference. What do you think?
Instagram post 2035084656206275746_176681624 Grocery shopping. Can we chat about that a moment? It’s like the consistent place that inevitably as a mom of littles your fear sneaks up on you.  The What If Fears.. What if someone takes my kid when I’m not looking?  My son is running down the isle, what if he breaks something?  The Self Defeating Fear — “I’m so bad at”...that starts small in your mind then escalated quickly.  Meal planning, saving money, not spending money wisely. I gave my kids candy for breakfast—ack—I’m a horrible mother!  Why does this always happen at the grocery store?  Well if you’re thinking, yeah what can I do to overcome those thoughts...then hop over on the blog.  This week I’m sharing How to Overcome Fear When It Won’t Go Away. {link in profile}  Spoiler alert: we might talk about how 🕷 spiders, yes I said spiders 😬 can help us out! #fromfeartofreedomtour
Instagram post 2030956112207250241_176681624 “I look to the hills and where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth” Psalm 121  Today was a long day. I’m tired, but hopeful.  I’ve taken somewhat of a sabbatical since February—and it’s been good and hard altogether.  In the struggle God always refines me and this time He’s been helping me through of process of moving from fear to freedom—again.  This isn’t the first time I’ve battled fear—and I’m sure it’s not the last.  On Monday I’ll be sharing more about #howtoovercomefear when it won’t go away. #fromfeartofreedomtour
Instagram post 2013308931346412903_176681624 Don't let fear win.  I have moments where I really feel the heaviness and the reality of fear...but like it says in 2 Corinthians 4:8–9, I am not letting fear win. "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." (ESV)  What fear are you struggling with today?  Today is a new day and there is hope and encouragement that you are not alone. ****Don't let fear win.*** If I can overcome. You can overcome too.  And sweet mom, I'm not the only one who is overcoming.  I've learned that the best way to learn and grow in my faith often is when others share their stories—and that is just what we are doing in the From Fear to Freedom Tour.  It's 30 blog posts over the next 30 days that will give you first hand stories from others and what they are doing to overcome their fear. {link in the profile} #30daystobraveandbold #overcomingfear #fromfeartofreedomtour
Instagram post 1980026626175885868_176681624 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.“ If you ever feel like you need God, but don’t know where to start—read this:  This morning I was crying out to the Lord for His help.  As a family, we’ve been through a lot of changes over the past three years and as a result our little one has had a sleeping schedule that was a little uncharacteristic.  Now that we’re in a schedule that is healthier for our family, we’ve had struggles with adjusting our sleep schedule. It’s tiring.  We’ve tried lots of thing and really it just comes down to one thing.  We need God’s help.  So that was my prayer this morning before my quiet time. “God, please help us, because it’s not working and we need our family to thrive.” I then turned to my reading for the day (I’m doing a study along with our church). Literally what I read next was an answer beyond what I could imagine or expect. “Forget the former things. I’m doing something new.” God is near to us, sweet mom.  Cry out to Him. Make your requests known to Him.  Seek Him first.  Open up His Word and read. You may find that He has something to say to your heart just when you need it most. ❤️
Instagram post 1969220350751785292_176681624 Today is the day! I’ve been waiting for this day since early December. 🎉🎉 Today I finally broke into my PowerSheets for 2019. 🤩  #powersheetsprepweek 
Am I behind? Most would say yes and they’re absolutely wrong.  There is no magic in January 1.  The last few months have been a roller coaster ride for my husband and our family. We’ve moved and now are renovating our home. We’re in a different city and there’s lots of new going on for each of us.  During this time, I started to feel overwhelmed. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this way and there was purpose in it all along.  Before picking up my PowerSheets today, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time investing in the best way to accomplish my goals in life.  What’s the best way?  You can read more about it up on the blog. {link in profile} #goalsinlife
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

 ABOUT      |      DISCLOSURE      |      PRIVACY POLICY     |      BLOG       |      FREE 5 THINGS GREAT MOMS GET RIGHT GUIDE

Copyright © 2019 • HealthyLivingMom.com • All Rights Reserved
22shares