What are you supposed to do with rock hard times likes this?
Life is Messy and It’s Not Perfect
Holding Yourself to a Standard
Have you ever thought or said one of these?
- It’s all my fault.
- I can fix this.
- I’m not doing enough.
- I’m a failure. I can’t do anything right no matter what I do.
- Things are going wrong, because I haven’t been reading my Bible.
On the surface, these phrases may not seem harmful, but they reveal some core beliefs. How do I know this? Because, what you really believe is revealed by what you say and do. These phrases—rocks that weigh you down—they are really putting a a lot of pressure on you. In reality, they’re based on something that simply isn’t true. Let’s take a look at these rocks more closely.
5 Rocks of Perfection
Rock 1— It’s All My Fault
If I could, I would underline the word ALL like a million times. When you feel like things are “all your fault”—you really feel like everything is weighing on you!! Sometimes it may be that you feel like you directly caused a situation by either doing something or not doing something. What’s so hard about it, is in the process you take complete responsibility when many factors are involved and likely, it’s not your fault at all. The truth is, you are not a scapegoat.
Rock 2 — I Can Fix This
Isn’t it funny how when something goes wrong, you naturally want to fix it? Your response can be harmless, but it can become harmful when it controls your entire focus. What happens next? Fixing a problem ends up taking precedence over people. It ends up being about just fixing things for the sake of saying, “I fixed it.” The truth is, sometimes, you can’t fix it and fixing it, might not be the answer.
Rock 3 – I’m Not Doing Enough
If you’re a people pleaser, you will always have opportunities. You’re the one who finds it easy to help others out. Self critical thoughts become your new normal. You feel like you don’t do enough, but you can always do more. Do you regularly tend to over extend yourself and be unrealistic in your own expectations? The truth is, there will always be more to do.
Rock 4 — I’m a Failure. I Can’t Do Anything Right No Matter What I Do
When you already feel like things aren’t going right, it’s easy to turn inward. Personally, I believe that this is one of the heaviest rocks of perfection. It initiates a downward spiral of “If only…I did this, or said this, or this happened…things would be different.” As it pulls you down in heaviness, it becomes easier to pick up other rocks too, like, self critical and scapegoat. The truth is, you’re identity is not in what you do, but who you are.
Rock 5 — Things are Going Wrong, Because I Haven’t Been Reading My Bible
Could this be conviction, or is it condemnation? The enemy would love to whisper lies of condemnation to capitalize on what you may already be believing about yourself. Conviction by the Holy Spirit is an invitation. Do these words sound inviting? The enemy speaks lies, but the Lord is loving and compassionate. The truth is, we live in a broken world and bad things happen.